Kobe, In Memoriam: From the Heart of a SoCal Kid

I was in the gym when I found out. I will always remember that fact. After I received the text from my best friend back home, which read simply “Kobe?????”, I went straight to Google and clicked on probably five links before I allowed myself to accept it as true. I walked aimlessly out of the gym and ended up sitting at the beach looking out into the bay, not really knowing where to go or what to do next. As I got up to meander back home, I went onto Instagram and happened to come across videos of Lakers fans wandering toward Staples Center with that same look of confusion on their faces that I saw on mine in the gym mirror. They explained their spontaneous actions as follows: “I didn’t know where else to go”. I suddenly felt a kinship with Lakers fans everywhere surge through me, and I missed home.
I went into work on Monday and of course all anyone could talk about was the tragic accident that occurred Sunday morning. But the way they talked about it was not how I needed to talk about it. All around me was simple headline speak such as “Did you hear this?” or “Did you hear that?” or people commenting on the fact that there were 8 other people on the plane who we should be talking about too. And there is no doubt that the most terrible part of all this is the fact that three young women will now never get to see their dreams come true. That is the part that makes the deepest pits of your stomach churn and makes yours eyes involuntarily well up at the mere thought. But there is also a part of me that has loved the Lakers my entire life and has watched Kobe grow up in front of my eyes, through the good times and the bad, for the last 24 years. And that part of me feels sad and lost, and that has to be ok to feel too. And that part of me also feels very alone. I moved away from Southern California nine years ago, but as I sat in my San Francisco office looking up at my Kobe Bryant bobblehead while everyone around me just went about their day as usual, I never missed where I came from more. I felt the strong need to be around people who felt how I felt, experienced what I experienced, grew up where I grew up.
I realize a lot of people don’t understand the bond us Lakers fans have with Kobe and how we can be so emotional over somebody we never met in person. These people also don’t understand how our days can be dampened by a loss and made brighter by a big win. Sports matter whether we want to accept that or not. They bring people together, they bring happiness in otherwise trying times, they bring joy to those who sometimes have a hard time finding any. And nobody brought more people together and brought more joy to Laker nation in my lifetime than Kobe Bryant. I find comfort in that. And after I learned the tragic news, I found comfort in going on social media and seeing posts and comments from old friends, most of whom I had not spoken to in years, expressing the loss they felt and expressing that they were in the same place that I was. Whether we are five miles apart or five thousand, that is something that will always tie us together. Kobe did that, and that matters. That is something I will never have with my new neighbors and coworkers, and that’s ok, as I’m sure that we will bond and connect over different things. But for me and my Southern California family and friends, Kobe was uniquely and unequivocally ours. And he always will be.
It wasn’t all good times and it wasn’t always a smooth ride, but he was ours and we were his. We watched him come into the league with promise and watched him fail at his first step onto the biggest stage. We rejoiced as he jumped into the giant arms of Shaq as they brought us the first three Laker titles of my lifetime. We screamed at our TVs as the Shaq and Kobe Lakers epically self-combusted for the whole world to see. We shook our heads in disappointment as the Colorado sexual assault case unfolded and was eventually dismissed. I’ll admit, during those first few post Shaq years, it was not always easy to be a Kobe fan. But just when we thought the Kobe story might not have a happy ending after all, we witnessed the redemption as he brought two more titles to LA. In my opinion, those last two titles meant more to Lakers fans than the first three because they somehow seemed harder, more earned, and they forever immortalized Kobe in Laker lore. While his final few seasons may have been tiresome to the rest of the NBA fanbases, those years weren’t for them. They were for us. At the time, we thought Kobe was giving us a farewell tour to say goodbye and provide an encore to his amazing career. So, we packed into Staples Center and bought overpriced tickets, all for one last chance to say thank you and to have him be part of our lives one last time. Or so we thought.
What makes this so sad, I think, is that Kobe didn’t ride off into the sunset after that 60-point final game. He came back to us. He was giving us another act. Next thing we knew it we were getting to see Oscar winning Kobe, artist Kobe, courtside Kobe, and best of all, basketball dad Kobe. We realized that our time with Kobe wasn’t over, it was only just beginning as he was letting us be witness to this next stage in his life as well. We allowed ourselves to envision Kobe taking over Jack’s spot as a courtside constant at Staples Center. We envisioned him cheering from the stands as he watched his daughter carry on his legacy into the WNBA. He was going to be a part of Laker nation for the next 24 years as well. Or so we thought.
Cheering for the Lakers is going to feel a bit different for a while, probably a long while. But I also believe that, for the people he touched and the people he meant more to than just a game, the bond he helped forge will never be stronger. Kobe mattered, above all to his wife, daughters, family, friends, but he also mattered to us, the ones who he made a part of his world, even if it was just through a television set in a living room in Riverside. But it always felt like more and it always felt bigger, and I guess that’s just the power of Kobe. And to all my friends back home, I know you more than most know exactly what I’m talking about, and I miss you, and I guess that’s also the power of Kobe.